Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Advising a Friend

Children, the loves of our lives and the future of our country. Some would say family really isn't family without them... but what if children aren't a possibility for you?

A good friend of mine was asking me for advice today. He said that he's been with this girl for eight months now and couldn't be happier. While they were out having dinner she made a side comment about kids which lead him to ask if she wanted children one day.

"Of course! What woman doesn't dream of being a mother one day?"

Back in the present, my friend told me that he froze up. He had never told his girlfriend that he wasn't able to have kids; it had never come up in their relationship before.

"What am I supposed to do? She seemed so excited at the idea of kids and I really love this girl..." he had told me.

This situation is never easy and I'm not really the counseling, wise friend. But I told him what I would want in that situation.

"If you really love her and want a future with her, it's going to come up eventually. I know its difficult but you should be honest with her now. It will hurt her more if she finds out you've hidden it from her."

"Some people can't be in a relationship where children aren't an option and you have to respect her opinion. If she loves you in return and can accept that a life with you will be one without kids, then you know she's right for you. If not... well then she wasn't the one."

Did I give him the right advice?

1 comment:

Melissa R said...

I would have given the same advice. This is one of the topics that's essential for couples to discuss before marriage. If they get to the point of engagement and go through premarital counseling, it will come up then. But isn't it better to talk about it now, rather than waiting?