Strangers Again

When was the last time you felt in love with your husband? I'm not talking about the "I love you" he sends in a text after you've finished discussing what to make for dinner or the "Love you!" that you say to him right before he leaves for work. I mean that deep happiness that one feels when they realize they wouldn't want to be with anyone else at that moment.

The answer for my husband and I? Well... I can't remember.

When was the last time you fought with your husband? Well we all know that one.

It was last night - He had come home late from work and the first thing he did when he walked thru the door was make some snide comment about the dishes. (Which the sink was only about 1/3rd of the way full)

It grew from there into a screaming match about how he had to work all day while I was probably at home doing my nails or playing on a Facebook game like Farmville.

Of course he would have known, had he been home, that I spent 5 hours on the phone with the internet company's customer service, took the dog to the vet, went grocery shopping and still managed to finish my many other house duties... with the exception of the four plates and one pan that sat in our sink.

Our night ended with him sleeping on the couch and myself viciously finishing the dishes.

In fact, it seemed most of our night's ended that way now. Sure we tried to watch a movie together now and then (if we can even agree on one.) But it wasn't the same.

We had both sunk into a routine of stress and blame... lashing out at eachother as we only had eachother to lash out at.

Its going to be tough getting out of this cycle but I'm hoping that recognizing it is the first step. Our marriage of three years already seemed to be winding its way back to where it started... strangers.

Maybe one day I'll be able to remember the last time we were truly in love... and hopefully it'll help me remember how to get back to that.